you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
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