Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Randomize