I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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