I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
even my farts smell like vagina
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
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He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
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In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
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