Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize