i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize