I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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