Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
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i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
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Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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