So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize