I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
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He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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