I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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