i permit you to call me
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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