how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize