Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
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He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
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What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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