Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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