I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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