Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize