Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
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I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
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So I just went to clothing optional bar
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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