planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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