people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize