Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize