Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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