Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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