Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I touched a dick in church today
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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