no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
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Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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