I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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