Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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