i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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