i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize