I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize