Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize