it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize