Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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