So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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