Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is officially offended.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize