so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
and she was petting her beer can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize