Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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