Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize