If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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