Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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