Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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