i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize