i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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