Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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