I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize