its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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