He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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