I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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