Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize