How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
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I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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